| | Some of my usernames for other things is "dreams2ashes"....
Dreams to ashes. Because that's how I felt growing up. Discouragement kills desire. She reaches for that streetcar. Misses... as dreams burn to ashes.
Lack of money and discouragement from my family and stuff like that brought them all down. I keep saying "Dreams have expiration dates." My previous entry would go against that.
I'm pretty sure God want's us to dream, have a vision, hope-- whatever you want to call it. So what am I supposed to do.. Refurbish all of those dreams I had in my past?
But maybe those blocks were put there because I was dreaming the wrong dream. Dreaming someone else's dream. Not something that was tailored specifically for me.
"If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means they are being purified."-- Oswald Chambers
So then... what was I made for?
Specifically. I want specifics. I already know those answers "We were created for God/love God/ serve God/ serve others"
No, what was I made for? What were the specific passions, skills/talents God had in mind when he created me????????????????
I don't see it. I've known a lot of deep and spiritual people in my life (all older than me since I never had friends my age). Most of them were pastors. They don't know each other but they all would say or prophesize that I would become "great" in the future. There's also a Korean proverb that says "The greatest people come from poverty."
Sometimes I feel like that's a fucking joke because "great" (from God's perspective) really means being the most insignificant and lowliest and that really conflicts with my human nature, enough to make me groan.
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| | Posted 11/9/2009 6:56 PM - 2 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
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