Appearance

	However, her father, the King, always knew that the princess' soul would return, perhaps in another body, in another place, at another time. And He would wait for her, until He drew His last breath, until the world stopped turning..

However, her father, the King, always knew that the princess' soul would return, perhaps in another body, in another place, at another time. And He would wait for her, until He drew His last breath, until the world stopped turning..

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Posted by: christin0 Original: 7/3/2009 12:10 AM Views: 19 Comments: 3 eProps: 6 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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2 eProps from: lil_squirrel4ever BaseBrZ igotoparsons

Friday, July 03, 2009

Before Gmail Chat came around (where it automatically saves AIM conversations to a folder), I used to save interesting conversations by emailing them to myself.

I went through them and wow. I can't believe that I talked like that... I sounded so pathetic... esp this one part.. Something happened, and I went to some people I knew to try to figure it out. This is what they said

xanpredator91: ok let me tell you this
xanpredator91: there were no so called rules
xanpredator91: He's just going through a phase where hes giving up on some friends
xanpredator91: he probably thinks youre "old" now
xanpredator91: and different
xanpredator91: and to him, dorky/nerdy
xanpredator91: he thinks you are different

and

pEarLy: I think he just made new friends but he doesn't want to lose them
pEarLy: so he went the wrong way by treating YOU differently
pEarLy: he cares about his appearance now

(related to my With entry) When I was 14 a friend just cut me off. That person never told me why, he just started to completely ignore me. I sort of guessed why though. It was especially rough on me though because during that time because I had no other friends but him and felt misunderstood by everyone else. BTW this didn't happen at school; it was at my (big) church. So basically the only person that understood me (at least, I thought) cut me off.

Five years later here I am. I'm healed from this and still working on my social skills.

Thing is, they were right. I did act "different" ... as in weird. (the bad kind, assuming from people's looks)

But the question I had when I read these AIM convos is... would it have mattered if I wasn't weird looking as well??? I feel like he/people would have accepted the weirdness/differentness maybe if I had been prettier. It's okay to be weird, as long as you're not weird looking as well, because that's just too much right.
Sometimes I wonder that... if prettier people are "different," people see it as 'strong individuality' and good stuff... but the same rules don't apply in the other case.

Ohmygod, I'm almost 20 and I'm writing/thinking like a 14 year old.

Posted 7/3/2009 12:10 AM - 19 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments

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3 Comments

I totally understand this post. I really do. Growing up (14 was a hard year for me as well), it was always made apparent to me how "different" I was. It caused me to spiral in and out of depression, bouts of very low self esteem, and I wavered between periods of introvertiveness and extrovertiveness. I am 28 now, and I think I've mostly found myself, but I still have scars. I have questioned my "weirdness" many times in my life. Am I weird personality wise (I think I am--I am no longer ashamed of being different). Am I weird lookswise? I still struggle with that sometimes, even though almost every single day someone compliments me on my appearance--it's never enough.

Posted 7/3/2009 1:10 AM by lil_squirrel4ever

- reply

“Reputation is an idle and most false imposition; oft got without merit, and lost without deserving.”

Posted 7/4/2009 10:32 PM by BaseBrZ - reply

Sorry...
I think your bday will be burried in the shadow of
11:11:11 11-11-11 aaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~

ps: I look weird and act weird. And the weird thing is that other people seem weird to me. Plus, friends are overrated. Rarely there comes these special people who are worthy of becoming ur friends; other than that, the rest are just acquaintances. Fuck them. You don't need them. If they want to leave you cuz they want to be 'weird' then let them be. Who's the one to judge who's weird and who's not.

oh.. I'm almost 30 and I write and think like a 8 year old.

Posted 7/8/2009 9:49 PM by igotoparsons - reply

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