This was me.
Characteristics of people feeling self-rejection: feelings of unworthiness - Overemphasis on dress (a self-image problem)
- Difficult time loving others/being loved by others (childhood hurts)
- Feelings of inferiority/inadequacy
- Anger
- Perfectionism ("I must be perfect to feel good about myself; arrogance and pride feelings are really cover-ups for insecurity.")
- Easily hurt
- Suspicious of others' actions
- Self-isolation that way, the only one that rejects them is themselves (wow i never saw it as that way)
- Depression (because you failed your expectations)
- Sensual fantasies (not a matter of sexual morality, it's a matter of acceptance)
- Difficult time trusting God
Causes of self-rejection - Early in life deformity
- Deep emotional hurt from past childhood
- Death of a parent ("Daddy died because he didn't love me" feelings.)
- Abandonment
- Divorce
- Child abuse
- Guilt feelings from past mistakes
- Criticism from other people
Three Things Needed for One to be Emotionally Healthy: - Feelings of belonging
- Feelings of worthiness
- Feelings of competence Charles Stanley said "People who suffer from self-rejection are willing to base their self-worth on opinion of others rather than on relationship to God"
It's hard to un-do everything in your heart and head. Although God is healing me and showing me that he loves me based on who I am and what I was created to be (NOT based on my actions) and that my circumstances and environment were not my choice, I don't think some things will ever go away. I think some effects and memories will still linger. And oddly, I want some of them to stay so that I can be reminded-- its like some sick sense of pleasure from pain. Though I wish I never fell into this pit, further down the road I see something good that will come out of it. The depths of my past will be something that few can truly understand. I am thankful that I have a brother and sister who do. Through everything, we have this indescribable bond and understanding among us. Even though we may never be with each other again, we're still close... with a sick sense of humor. haha. Some people just see this girl who laughs and smiles a lot. I guess it's really up to me how much I want to show. But they see someone who just seems to be so superficial and silly, almost immature in action.
I think I like being this character because it helps me take my mind off everything else and nobody wants the pressures of someone else' problems and shit. Nobody should be in that position to clean up, heal, and hold other people up. That's what Jesus wants to do and he's the only one competent enough to do the job.
But at the same time it bothers me because I don't want people to think that I'm just some childish girl. But maybe the truly insightful and deep people will pick up something else... and those are the people I want to get to know anyway. So it works out.
This is me. | 
